Recipe for Tea
by beautifulpickle
Summary: He often wonders what would happen if he didn't close his heart off so much as he did before, if somehow Kuronue and him could meet again, maybe in a different place, in a different world, maybe things would be different. [DISCONTINUED; explanation inside]


On certain winter days where the snow would settle and cover the houses and shops, when the streets would be lightly littered with people, Kurama would stop at a nearby cafe and order a hot drink. He'd sit at a single table next to the window, maybe cracking open a book or mindlessly reading an article in the newspaper. Other times he'd just spend the next half hour with his chin propped up on his hand, nursing his piping hot cup of tea, just silently staring outside the window. And in these next few moments he would just strip all his thoughts, problems, and worries, and just think.

There was a point of time in his life where he didn't feel like he didn't need anything, and he's been searching for that ever since. When he lived his life as Youko Kurama, he yearned for power, adventure, a name, a meaning. As Suiichi Minamino, he wanted completion, repentance for what he did in his past life, he wanted his mother's acceptance. But the only period of time where he felt like he had everything was with Kuronue. Kuronue was his partner in crime, they worked together, split the profits, celebrated their wins, but he was worth so much more than the adventure. Kuronue had many attributes that would make him an excellent partner for anyone who was willing to work for him. To this day Kurama could proudly say that Kuronue was one of the most trustworthy and dependable people he had ever come across, but that's not what made the bat special.

The band of thieves that Kurama created were stealing for the same reason he was. They wanted to be known, they wanted rare treasures of every kind and power on top of it. Many times they would try to over throw their leader, sneaking up on him from behind, foolishly thinking they were strong or steathly enough to kill the legendary thief. Unlike the others, Kuronue was in it for the adventure. Kurama believed Kuronue would have left his side a lot earlier if it wasn't for the relationship that happened to form between the two bandits. The young bat started out thieving for the riches and the name, but he ended up staying for Kurama.

There have been countless of people, women and men alike, that would throw themselves in front of the legendary fox, most because of his beauty, many because of his title. He never cared for romance or any type of relationship with anyone whatsoever, so once he was done with a specific person, he never bothered to look back. Many professed their love for him and he would turn the other cheek without thinking much of them. Even though he was surrounded by his thieves, he lived his life mainly in solitude, preferring isolation, opposed to building relationships with anyone around him. Caring made people weak, emotion was a paralytic that he couldn't afford to have.

So when Kuronue strided into his life, demanding for attention, for some reason he couldn't avoid the bat. Unlike the other people who he worked with, Kuronue didn't keep to himself. He was loud and curious, his presence was infections, permeating throughout an open area, demanding to be noticed. Many people had enough brains to leave the spirit fox alone, but Kuronue was stupidly courageous, challenging the fox, trying to get a reaction from him. To Kurama, he was a follower, he was disposable, someone he could use as a distraction or as a scape goat while he reached for the real prize. Many would challenge the great Youko Kurama for power, because they wanted to prove they were more intelligent, stronger, better than the fox. Many would end up dead, a lucky few would survive without an arm, or a leg, or both their eyes. Kuronue was different, he challenged the fox not for dominance, but for acknowledgement. He wanted to differentiate himself from everyone else, prove that he wasn't just a pawn, he wanted to show that he existed. So when they fought, and he managed to pin the fox down, his scythe only millimeters away from Kurama's throat, Kurama had no choice but to notice.

Kurama remembered that fight almost like it was yesterday. He remembered how the bat cleverly used his scythes to trip him, defeating him almost so effortlessly that he was ashamed to admit his defeat. Maybe it was Kurama's over confidence that led to him losing, or maybe Kuronue was just that good. In that moment Kuronue could have killed the infamous fox, and Kurama would have killed him as well. When Kuronue pinned him down he remembered implanting a seed onto his chest, one word and it would have been over for the both of them, they could have both died, but neither of them decided to kill one another.

Kuronue became more than a partner, he became Youko's equal, his other half. Kuronue became his second consience, the company he never wanted but managed to find. His thirst for adventure and hidden treasures still coursed through his blood, but he found that his love for theiving was starting to wane. Kuronue became his safe haven, his place where he can relax, never he relied on a person to keep himself sane. Kuronue would tell him to stop worrying, to not overthink a heist, to not be so paranoid over how a situation could go wrong. Kurama doesn't remember when exactly he let Kuronue in, but he figured the bat wedged himself into the fox's thoughts himself.

So when Kuronue told Kurama (quite blatantly) that he loved the fox, it rendered the legendary theif speechless. It took him a moment to compose himself, to shake his head and reject him, blaming the poor bat for such a stupid thought. It may have been years ago, but Kurama could have sworn he remembered Kuronue's face, his forlorn smile and look of disappointment, like he knew the answer and expected it. It was the first time Kurama ever cared about how a person reacted, being with Kuronue romantically was something that had never crossed his mind, not even once. In a way he was dependant on the bat, but at the same time, emotions just muddled his thoughts, caring about someone was almost insensitive in this line of work. It's a stupid decision to mix emotion with theiving and Kuronue should have known that. Kurama remembered walking away from the whole scene, burying his thoughts in floorplans and books, spending the next morning acting like nothing had happened.

As time passed, Kurama could fully acknowledge his friendship with Kuronue. His name would be first on wanted signs with Kuronue's following right after. Kurama and Kuronue, the legendary theives of Makai. Calling someone a friend may have not been much for most people, but for Kurama, for someone to be able to effortlessly stride into his life, was a feat that would be unachievable for most people. So when Kuronue told him that he wouldn't mind living the lap of luxury as long as it meant staying with Kurama, it was another one of those rare moments that caught the fox off guard. It wasn't as much a confession as it was an obvious statement and when Kuronue said , "Honestly, I wouldn't mind leaving everything behind. Maybe one day when your name is finally known everywhere and you have everything you need, we can live peacefully, maybe even open a tea shop together," he said with that small chuckle that Kurama has grown quite fond of. When Kurama assures him that _both _their names will be known throughout history, Kuronue just shookhis head and said he never really cared about that stuff.

Kurama doesn't like remembering anything after that, but unfortunately he can't find a way to forget. He remembered exactly how Kuronue told him to run, he could almost feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins, how useless he felt, how for the first time in his long life he felt regret over leaving a person — _his friend, _behind. He remembered so much and to this very day he can't quite forgive himself, he can't seem to find a way to make up for what he's done. After a long time thinking about his situation, he had come to the conclusion that he really did love Kuronue, maybe in the same way Kuronue loved him, he was just too scared and stubborn to admit it. If he didn't love the bat, this memory wouldn't have haunted him, he wouldn't have regret it as much, he would have buried the memory down with the rest of his past, he wouldn't have wanted Kuronue to be alive at this very moment. And although these memories hurt him, they were the memories he cherished the most.

His transition into the human world had taught him how to care for others in the way he couldn't care for Kuronue. He wouldn't want to change the experiences he had with the spirit detective along with the friends he managed to string with him, but sometimes he wonders what it would be like it he took Kuronue's offer and spent the rest of his life not worrying about anything. Collecting herbs, studying plants, and exploring the rest of nature like spirit foxes are supposed to do. He feels almost guilty knowing that the most complete he's ever felt was being alongside Kuronue, and somehow the friends he has created can't fill the void that the bat had left behind. He often wonders what would happen if he didn't close his heart off so much as he did before, if somehow Kuronue and him could meet again, maybe in a different place in a different world, and maybe things would be different. Maybe Kuronue wouldn't have died not knowing how much he meant to the fox.

"Sir your Ba ba cha is ready," says a man in his early twenties. He has short shaggy jet black hair and pale skin. His dark eyes almost glint as he serves the drink with a smile.

"Ah, thank you," Kurama takes it gratefully, using the warm mug to defrost his fingers.

"You come here often don't you? I see you around all the time but I've never asked for your name since you always seem to be busy with something else," he replies. "So what _is _your name? I know nothing about you besides the fact that you're probably the only person in this cafe that orders bundled tea".

His forwardness is something that catches Kurama's attention. "This is the only place that happens to serve authentic bundled tea," he pauses, for some strange reason, he's compelled to say his real name.

"And my name is Kurama," he adds, taking a cautionary sip of his tea.

The waiter's eyes widen, and his lips curve into a smile. "Like after the legendary fox?," he asks. Kurama nods and takes another sip.

"After all these years you're still drinking the same damn thing," he says with a smirk. "I like you're new hair by the way, although silver suited you best," the waiter turns his heel and walks off to the next table, taking their order.

Needless to say, Kurama finds himself dropping his cup of tea all over the tiled floor.

**(A/N): To everyone who still kept up with this story, I seriously thank you with every fiber of my being. I'm not the best at keeping stories or completing them and I try my hardest, but lack of motivation and creativity really bleed a soul dry. I'm discontinuing this because I don't want to make false promises in trying to complete it. HOWEVER, I am writing a new Kurama/Kuronue story that will be up fairly soon. It's a fresh start and it's still in progress, but it's still a fic where they meet in the future. Again, thank you so much for sticking with me and hopefully I'll see you in my next story!**


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